Make My Characters Talk To Each Other

[Alicorn]

Cayra: "Oh wow you guys are adorable!"

Cypress: "Thank you."

Cayra: "Hey do you want magic flowers that you can use to learn more forms of magic? There's a catch which is that they fuck with your brain but hey."

Cypress: "Possibly, but what is the type of brain alteration that occurs?"

Cayra: "Depends on the kinda magic. I have a kind that forces extroversion and a kind that's going to make me steadily more self-centered."

Cypress: "Hm. Can I get a list of magic types and their mental effects to review with my wife?"

Cayra: "Yeah sure."

Cypress: "Thanks!"

------------

We can't think of anything for Cayra and Idania to say.

[Lambda]

QDS: "Would you like to purchase some QUALITY DISCOUNT SPELLBOOKS?"

Shell Bell: "…Quite possibly. What kind of spells are in them?"

QDS: "What an eeeexcellent question! I can tell you're a discerrrrning customer! I have here... FIREBALL! MAGIC MISSILE! INVISIBILITY! FLY!" *displays spellbooks as he names them*

Shell Bell: "And I can cast those, if I buy the books?"

QDS: "Thaaaat's right! Just read the book and the spell is yours! It's that easy! You'll need to have enough MP, of course, but I'm sure that'll be no problem for a fine lady like yourself! Yes, you have the air of a true master of the arts magical!"

Shell Bell: "How does MP work?"

QDS: "Why, it's the easiest thing in the world! When you cast a spell, it uses your MP, and you can meditate to recharge back up to your max! Can I interest you in our special publication, Introduction to Spellcasting by Xyzzy the Orange? It's got all you need to know!"

Shell Bell: "…Do you have any other representatives I could talk to?"

--------

QDS: "Would you like to purchase some QUALITY DISCOUNT SPELLBOOKS?"

Iobel: "I have a fair amount of inventory lying around. What's so great about yours?"

QDS: "Perhaps we have something you don't!" *lists*

Iobel: "…this doesn't sound like books of spellbinder charts.

"QDS: "So much the better! If you're looking to expand your collection, why not take this amaaaazing opportunity to learn spells unlike any you've heard of before? All our products are of the highest quality!"

Iobel: "You keep asserting that as though it's correlated with traits of your books instead of your desire to sell them."

QDS: "Buy now!"

Iobel: "No."

QDS: "Sorry I couldn't help you today. Come back soon!"

--------

Gray Librarian: "Hello, how can I help you?"

Shell Bell: "I'm not sure. What sorts of things do you usually help people with?"

Gray Librarian: "I usually help people with finding books, although the Library's collection also includes other media. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

Shell Bell: "No, not really. I usually go to Bar for help finding media."

Gray Librarian: "Where is Bar?"

Shell Bell: "Milliways."

Gray Librarian: "Do you know if it is a good place to find rare books? The Library is always looking to expand its collection."

Shell Bell: "Oh, she has everything ever published anywhere."

Gray Librarian: *stares, drools*

[Lambda]

I'm not convinced that Mother Starlight is separable from the forum.

King James and Bunnysaga!James

[Kappa]

Denied on grounds that one of those is too early an iteration of the template and is no longer valid.

[Lambda]

President Coin and THE COIN

[Alicorn]

THE COIN is not a character.

[Adelene]

Shell Bell and OTC.

[DanielH]

Alicorn:
Angie (Phaeton) and Juliet

Alicorn/Kappa:
Angie and Minus

[Alicorn]

OTC: "Welcome to OTC! We're pleased to offer a wide range of products from across the multiverse. Are you a first-time customer?"

Shell Bell: "…I'm not sure I'm a customer at all, but I haven't bought anything from you before."

OTC: "In that case, we have a brief primer on multiversal trade for you. OTC operates in locations where access to conjuration magic is widespread, and also sell in many universes: therefore, we trade using unduplicable currencies of universal worth. Currently, we accept Ka, Takkarash, Chron, Izikiel, Udi, Buddhitanka, and Cernnous. Are any of these currencies already known to you?"

Shell Bell: "I'm afraid not."

OTC: "Briefly: 1 Ka is equal to five years of healthy life; 1 Takkarash is a volume of pain roughly equal to a sharp bump on the head; 1 Chron is 5.26 seconds of vital time; 1 Izikiel is the downfall of one nemesis; 1 Udi is a fervent hope or dream; 1 Buddhitanka is 1 interesting or useful piece of knowledge; and 1 Cernnous is a year of continuous effort by a god."

Shell Bell: "…Those are peculiar units of currency. Please tell me more about how they work in practice."

OTC: "The OTC is capable of minting these currencies from sophonts, subject to their permission. If you mint one Ka, you give up five years of healthy life. If you mint a Takkarash, you suffer a pain equivalent to a sharp blow on the head. And so on. Only gods can mint Cernnous, for obvious reasons."
OTC: "Incidentally, we also maintain our own Oifeili Trade Currency."

Shell Bell: "Using or storing some of these items seems like it would have substantial knock-on effects for surrounding causality, even if the pain can be managed completely separately from actual injury."

OTC: "... Would you mind elaborating?"

Shell Bell: "Well, if I had a nemesis, whether I defeated them or not would depend on a lot of things. If I minted the coin, presumably this means that I was going to defeat them but then wouldn't, and then some of those things would have to change; how would that work? If I spent the coin, presumably this means that I wasn't going to defeat them but then I would anyway, which would also imply changes."

OTC: "Yes. That is the proper function of an Izikiel. Though I will note that if you were already going to have a victory over your nemesis, and then you spent an Izikiel, it would not be wasted - It would simply transfer to the next time you needed a victory."

Shell Bell: "If one were operational in a given situation, then. But what determines which of the factors change? And by how wide a margin?"

OTC: "The coins minimize their involvement as much as possible. Ideally some small event would occur that would then have specific, limited implications regarding your conflict."

Shell Bell: "That's handled automatically, with some kind of built-in magic?"

OTC: "If you mint an Izikiel, your opponent will experience what they perceive as good luck: if you spend an Izikiel, they will experience what they would perceive as bad luck. The coins have been tested extensively to minimize aberrant effects: OTC will fully recompense any reasonably-unexpected damages caused by coin minting in full. Did I mention that we would also recompense you completely?"

Shell Bell: "Completely meaning?"

OTC: "Meaning we will restore all of the unexpected damages to the best of our ability, erring on the side of generosity whenever it would be questionable. Consider that the OTC holds many thousand Cernnous in godly debt: there are very few situations we cannot repair."

Shell Bell: "Okay. How do you mint hopes and knowledge, and what is 'vital time'?"

OTC: "Minting Udi makes a desire that you are experiencing in the moment disappear and never reoccur, with a high degree of specificity. Minting Buddhitanka removes the relevant knowledge or memory from your mind. Vital time is 'time you need.' Chron, when minted, cause you to fail to do something - something that you would have been able to complete, had you had just slightly more time."

Shell Bell: "…Are Udi as obviously gameable as they sound?"

OTC: "Yes, but for that reason they also have very low purchasing power."

Shell Bell: "What about the knowledge one? If I have something recorded, mint it, and then consult my recording."

OTC: "Everyone wants to mint their addictions. As for Buddhitanka: You can always relearn the knowledge, but any specific knowledge you have can only be minted once."

Shell Bell: "What about knowledge in various combinations? For instance if I know how long quahogs live and know that there are animals that live at least that long, are those separate pieces of information?"

OTC: "They're likely too close together to be separate pieces of information: not only that, but most facts are not of sufficient quality to form Buddhitanka. Buddhitanka represent significant insights or experiences that stay with you: you can't usually just flip through fact books and mint everything you learned."

Shell Bell: "Does the content stay with the currency if someone else gets ahold of it in a transaction, or does it change to something more context-appropriate for them?"

OTC: "The OTC maintains a very large sense-library, and when a Buddhitanka is redeemed we provide the redeemer with the most relevant insight or experience in our collection."

Shell Bell: "If you redeem one can you then mint the insight you get?"

OTC: "Yes. We will note, however, that we don't guarantee the truth, usefulness, or completeness of experiences provided via Buddhitanka: proper oracular answers are much more expensive than that."

Shell Bell: "But if you invest one - which you could then read right away from notes - you can get a whole chain of them for only as long as it takes to write them down?"

OTC: "OTC takes a 1% cut of each minting, but yes, you could repeatedly mint each new Buddhitanka to acquire many recorded memories in exchange for one fully-experienced one."

Shell Bell: "And how do you measure one percent of a memory?"

OTC: "We don't. That's why we have Oifeili Trade Currency. Or you could take your change in Takkarash, Udi, etc."

Shell Bell: "I mean, how do you convert currency made of these things into anything else such that you can take percentages of them."

OTC: "There is an established multiversal currency market. The current trading rate is 1.31 Buddhitanka per unit of OTC."

Shell Bell: "Oh, I see. …How robust against arbitrage is this?"

OTC: "If you can find an appropriate arbitrage between currencies, feel free to use it to get astonishingly wealthy. The market will probably not shift much overnight: the multiversal marketplace is extremely large, and you're unlikely to be the strangest thing that's ever happened to it."

Shell Bell: :3

[Alicorn]

Angie: "You're the Slayer?"

Juliet: "Well, I was, then I died, now I have all the same powers because I am separately nigh-omnipotent but technically not the title, my friend has that bit now."

Angie: "But - the Slayer line died out."

Juliet: "...I would try visiting your world and torching there, or getting James to do it, but since the entire setup is extremely sketchy to begin with I have a better idea which is how about I just deploy some nigh-omnipotence."