Alicornutopia

The note about the poison is Rikku's line, not Wakka's, Tidus repeats it to Wakka later. Otherwise yeah.

Chapter 3: Kilika
They board the S.S. Liki, which Wakka explains will take them to Kilika Island, where Yuna will pray at a temple, before they catch another boat to Luca for the tournament. Tidus meets O'aka XXIII, Merchant Extraordinaire, no one really knows who he is. He's also introduced to chocobos, thus proving this is a Final Fantasy game.

A gaggle of people surround Yuna, and Tidus overhears a couple of them mentioning she's Lord Braska's daughter, who Wakka reminds him is the High Summoner whose statue Tidus saw at the temple, the one who defeated Sin ten years in the past. He goes talk to her, and she says she believes him to be from Zanarkand, because one of her father's guardians, a man named Jecht, told her about it. Tidus is upset by this, and says his father was named Jecht, which prompts Yuna to say their meeting must be the blessing of Yevon.

While they're having a heartwarming conversation, Sin shows up, going for Kilika. They shoot harpoons at it, hoping to distract it from getting there. A few fiends detach from it and board the deck, and they fight the monsters and use magic to hit Sin itself, until it pulls enough to break away from the boat, knocking Tidus unconscious and pulling him under with the impact. Wakka dives in after him, finds him being attacked by more fiends, and heals him with a magic potion. They're attacked by a giant aquatic fiend, and after killing it, return to the boat and watch Sin hit Kilika (cw: death). Yuna forces herself to watch, and vows to defeat Sin.

They arrive at what's left of the port, and Yuna declares being a summoner, and offers to perform a Sending so Kilikans won't become fiends. Tidus follows after, and asks Lulu what a sending is. She explains that the dead need guidance - the grief over their own death and resent the living, turning eventually to hate them, which turns their souls into fiends, and the Sending sends them to the Farplane, where they may rest in peace. Yuna performs the Sending, pretty pyreflies appear, the dead go to the Farplane. It is very sad.

Wakka calls Tidus over after he rests, and tells him they'll go to the temple to pray for victory, and tells him High Summoner Ohalland was a Bliztball player. Tidus is uneasy about praying for victory at a time like this, and Wakka explains that Blitzball is really the only form of entertainment they have and the only way to forget all the pain and suffering.

They start walking towards the temple and meet up with the other guardians at the edge of the jungle. Yuna says she wants Tidus to be her guardian. Wakka chides her, saying Tidus is a newbie against fiends, so she backpedals and says she wants him nearby, shocking Wakka. Lulu says they're all going to the temple anyway, so this can wait until later, and Tidus is confused about what's going on. They cross the jungle and start climbing the famous Kilika Temple Stairs, which Lord Ohalland used to climb to train for Blitzball. On a platform there, they find Sinspawn, a huge fiend which, if not destroyed, will call Sin back to itself. After killing it, Wakka compliments Tidus' prowess in battle. They continue climbing, and Wakka questions Tidus about Zanarkand, then comes up with a hypothesis that maybe people attacked by Sin travel through time rather than dying. Lulu snarks at him about it, saying he needs to face the truth that Chappu is not coming back, and that no one can replace him, Sir Jecht, or Sir Braska, that it's pointless and sad to think about it.

They reach Kilika Temple and meet another Blitzball team, the Luca Goers, who bully them about the tournament. Tidus says they're as bad as his father, and Yuna claims he was a kind and gentle man. They walk into the temple, where Wakka prays for Lord Ohalland. Lady Summoner Dona and her guardian Barthello leave the Cloister of Trials, and she recognises Yuna as Lord Braska's daughter, and mocks her for the number of guardians she has. Yuna defends them and her choice, but tells Dona she respects her choice.

They go on to the Cloister of Trials, except Tidus isn't allowed because he isn't a guardian. He watches them go down the magic lift and turns to leave, but Dona and Barthello block his path. Dona asks him why he didn't go with Yuna, and when he says he's not a guardian, Barthello picks him up and puts him on the lift. He solves the puzzles and finds the other guardians in the antechamber, where they tell him Yuna could be excommunicated for this. Wakka explains that the next room, the Chamber of the Fayth, is only accessible by Yuna, and Lulu says that the fayth are people who gave Yevon their souls willingly in order to help fight Sin. Their soul lives forever, trapped in a statue, but when a summoner beckons, the soul of a fayth emerges in the form of an aeon.

Yuna leaves the chamber, and Tidus' internal monologue explains that the song they could hear inside the temple is one he knew from his childhood, convincing him there's some connection between Spira and Zanarkand.

And off they go to Luca at last.

Part 3 chime-ins... (I'm having fun with this, at least.)

" because one of her father's guardians, a man named Jecht, told her about it. Tidus is upset by this," Tidus' line, said monologue overlain style, is "That isn't the Jecht I knew." or rather close to that. Pedro written lather, "Tidus says they're as bad as his father, and Yuna claims he was a kind and gentle man." yeah, Tidus has some issues with his father being an asshat. This comes up later as well.

Tidus gets knocked overboard for the underwater fight VS Sinspawn, Wakka does indeed heal with with a potion. The item 'potion', which is a fun use of the battle sprite of Wakka (Lower quality) doing the animation next to cinematic-model-Tidus (higher quality). There's a few points where this happens, and is more of a silly thing to notice rather than a problem.

Lulu has the line of "Really, you have no idea what a sending is? Are you sure it's all Sin's Toxin?" paraphrased, but basically she calls him a massive idiot right in the middle of this serious happenings. I really like the line, zuzuzu.

In the aftermath of Kilika, while it's a town to run around in, a young boy has an editing fail saying "I want to be a Blitzball [player] when I grow up!", it lacks 'player'. It is a meme. This is why we're calling Tidus a Blitzball. The HD-Remaster left this line in unaltered.

While Tidus is 'resting', the other Besaid Aurochs are running around helping repair and such.

BLITZBALL TIME BOYS AND GIRLS AND EVERYTHING EVER CLOSE TO THAT IN ANY SORT OF WAY. o7

this is really fun to read <3 the "long narrative posts + chime-ins with extra info" format works very well, congrats to you both

Immediately after I posted, Kappa posted, and then on IRC...

<RoboticLIN> kappabeta I'm just kinda commenting on Pedro's posts because I'm amused by it, and some of the non-story/non-important stuff is kinda interesting.
<RoboticLIN> He didn't ask me to, and we havent talked about it.
<kappabeta> The way it turns out has a nice synergy!
<RoboticLIN> Sure I guess? XD
<RoboticLIN> I mean, the only real thing I've said so far is reminding that Wakka mentions to STFU about Zanarkand, and that Jecht being an asshole is kinda important
<RoboticLIN> Otherwise I'm just kinda being silly.
<kappabeta> I am enjoying your silliness greatly and feel like it contributes substantially to the readability and entertainment value of the thread
<kappabeta> Like, it would've been fine on its own but it's so much more awesome this way
<RoboticLIN> Sure I guess. (May I copy+paste these few messages for forum cohesiveness?)
<kappabeta> Yes

<3

Chapter 4: S.S. Winno
The party boards the S.S. Winno, making for Luca. In the evening, the Luca Goers are talking to Yuna when Tidus goes see what's up. They recognise him from Kilika, calling him an idiot for thinking the Besaid Aurochs can win, to which Tidus retorts they will now that he's around. Yuna backs him up, saying he used to be the star player of the Zanarkand Abes, and that Zanarkand is a big city and not just ruins when pressed. The Goers shrug and go away. Tidus asks her what's up, and she says she does believe that his Zanarkand exists, explaining that Sir Jecht used to always tell her stories about it, and that she'd love to go there.

He goes exploring, and overhears a conversation between Lulu and Wakka on the platform above the deck. She challenges Wakka on his plans for Tidus, asking if he'll take responsibility after using him to win the tournament, and pointing out that Yuna wants Tidus as a guardian because of him. He wonders why Yuna got that into her head, and Lulu explains that it's because she believes Tidus to be Sir Jecht's son. Wakka shrugs and says that it's up to Tidus and Yuna to decide, and Lulu concedes the point. She suggests he ask Tidus to be Yuna's guardian, for Yuna herself cannot, since Tidus hates his father and she couldn't say "Do you want to be my guardian, like your father was mine's?" Wakka opines Lulu might be being oversensitive, but sighs and agrees to do it discreetly, after the tournament. He goes on to muse that hating one's father is a luxury, given he doesn't even remember his parents, and Lulu says she remembers hers, as she was five when Sin took them.

Tidus walks around the deck some more and finds a Blitzball ball near the mast, which triggers a memory of him trying to mimic his father's famous shot and failing, only to have his father demonstrate it (in spite of usually charging for lessons, he says) and claim neither Tidus nor anyone else can do it, and that he's the best. He's annoyed he still can't do it, and tries to take his mind off thoughts of his father by trying it again, and eventually succeeds. The Aurochs see it, and ask him to show them that shot again, and he obliges.

Yuna sees this, as well, and asks him if that's the (Sublimely Magnificent) Jecht Shot (Mark III) which Jecht had shown her when she was little. Tidus admits it was, and that there were no Marks I or II, and Jecht had named it that just to make fans hope they'd someday finally get to see those. Tidus says this used to get him really mad because it worked. He wonders if he's still alive, and Yuna confesses ignorance, but points out that, being her father's guardian, he's famous, so if anything happened to him word would get around fast. Yuna asks him what he'd do if he found him, and he says he doesn't know, but would probably smack him for everything he'd put Tidus and his mom through. He wonders if it's tough to Yuna, being her father's daughter, and she admits following in his footsteps is hard, but the honour of having a father like him surpasses that. Tidus says there wasn't much to honour about his father. Wakka interrupts this conversation asking Tidus to show him that move again, and he does.

And eventually they arrive in Luca.

Like a pair of left feet, stumbling afterward...

I don't remember Lulu or Wakka talking about Jecht, but admittedly I couldn't name the boat either. Whatevers.

Tidus performing the Jecht Shot on the boat is the ONLY TIME IN THE GAME YOU CAN GET IT. Also, it's a minigame, which YOU GET ONE TRY. Additionally, if that wasn't enough, YOU CAN'T USE IT IN LUCA. If you fail, the Aurochs cease to arrive to watch. (Wakka brings Yuna up, since Wakka grabs the Aurochs on success to see the second go and wakes her up by accident. Otherwise, Yuna watches you hit the deck from the first attempt, and the Blitzball is anger-kicked into the water.)

[Game Mechanics not story] Mechanically, as this is a videogame, the Jecht Shot is what turns Tidus from a good shooter and halfdecent otherwise into the godliest shooter in the game. Jecht Shot in the free-play Blitzball, when firing at the net to score, removes 0-2 defenders from the shot (it otherwise hits the net once or twice) and has a really high shot-score. Tidus makes them wicked shots, so you just set him up to bypass the attacking 3 members, and then drag the defenders to the net and ignore them to just straight shoot the net vs the Goalie.

Chapter 5: Luca
A couple of TV sports (cough Blitzball cough) commentators announces the arrival of the various Blitzball teams as they do, broadcasting it on TVs around Luca. They call the Besaid Aurochs a statistical impossibility for being this bad, not having made it past the first round in twenty-three years, and only a few die-hard fans are awaiting them at the docks. When the Luca Goers arrive, the commentators spend a while singing their praises. Tidus, annoyed by this, grabs a megaphone, climbs on top of some crates and announces that the Luca Goers aren't going to be smiling for long because the Aurochs are taking the cup this year.

After Wakka gives Tidus a hard time about this while the rest of the team enjoys the thirty seconds of fame this is giving them, they overhear a few people saying Maester Mika is arriving. Lulu explains he's the leader of all the peoples of Spira, come all the way from Bevelle as this tournament is being held to honour his fifty years as Maester. Tidus wonders why he's not retired by now, and Wakka tells him to mind his mouth.

The party joins the crowd in Dock 3, and soon a fanfare starts to announce the arrival of the Yevon delegation. The first one off the boat is Maester Seymour Guado, who turns around as soon as he's on the dock, kneels, and does the gesture of prayer towards the boat, followed by everyone else in the crowd, to welcome Grand Maester Yo Mika. Mika thanks the people for their welcome, and presents Maester Seymour as his father Maester Jyscal - who died fifteen days previously -'s replacement. Seymour vows to carry on Jyscal's legacy of fostering friendship between humans and guado, and to fulfil his duties as maester to the best of his abilities (Wakka pokes Tidus and asks him to bow his head). There is Meaningful Eye Contact between Seymour and Yuna.

The Aurochs go to the locker rooms, while Wakka waits for the matchup draws. When Tidus joins them, they say they had to play the Goers in the first match of the three previous tournaments, and one of them says that they would've lost to anyone anyway. Wakka arrives then, and announces they got seeded, and are playing the Al Bhed Psyches first and then are in the finals.

They talk tactics for a bit until Yuna and Lulu show up, saying someone spotted Sir Auron in a cafe. After cheering Wakka up, Tidus goes after Kimahri and Yuna to look for Auron, who explains that Auron was also her father's guardian and might know of Jecht. He runs into a couple Al Bhed who say something involving the word "summoner." Tidus tells them about Al Bhed saving him and Rikku, then sees they don't understand him, and tries to ask them to tell Rikku "thanks" if they see her.

He runs into Yuna off the main building area, where she's being interviewed by some people for TV. He remarks on her fame, and she laughs, then muses that it'd be terrible if they got lost from each other. Tidus whistles with his fingers in his mouth, and explains to a bewildered Yuna that in Zanarkand people do that to cheer on Blitzball players. He tries to show her how to do it, and tells her to practice when she fails. He says that if they get separated she should do that, and he'll come running, but for now they'd better stick together.

They walk on for a bit, and Tidus remarks that it's a pretty big city, to which Yuna responds that it's the second largest city in Spira. Yuna says towns don't usually get much bigger than Kilika or Besaid, because when many people gather together Sin attacks. Luca's different in that it has the stadium, and the Crusaders fight to protect it with all their strength, because Blitzball the only form of entertainment they have. Yuna asks if Zanarkand's similar, and Tidus says there are more, taller buildings, all cramped together.

They reach the cafe where Sir Auron's supposed to have been seen, but he's not there. Yuna asks around, and Kimahri runs into two other, taller ronso (Biran and Yenke) who bully him for not having seen them in ten years, and for being small and hornless. He punches one of them, and the barkeep tells them to take it outside because the tournament's about to start. The sphere screen shows Maester Mika announcing the start of the first game, Besaid Aurochs versus Al Bhed Psyches.

At this point Tidus notices Yuna's disappeared, and Kimahri abandons his brawl to go look for her with him. Lulu finds them, and tells them Yuna's been kidnapped by the Al Bhed Psyches, who will return them in exchange for the Aurochs losing on purpose. She says Wakka will take care of the game and the three of them will find Yuna.

They fight their way through Al Bhed machina to Dock 4, and the sphere screen shows the game tied 2-2, and Wakka taking a beating of the Psyches. They jump onto the deck of a fleeing boat, and a large robot appears and fights them. They destroy it, but before they can actually rescue Yuna the door into the boat interior opens and she walks out, leaving the unconscious body of an Al Bhed behind. Lulu holds her and tells her she hopes she hurt them, and Yuna says "A little."

Tidus looks around, and explains he was rescued by some Al Bhed when he first came to Spira and was kinda hoping this was the same ship, but it isn't. He says Sin came up near them, and doesn't know what happened to the Al Bhed. Yuna asks him if there was anyone named Cid on the ship, but Tidus says he didn't understand what they'd been saying. She says he's her uncle, but she never met him, which means she's Al Bhed on her mother side. She says he became distant after her mother married, but she told Yuna to seek him out if she ever needed help. Lulu asks Tidus to not tell Wakka about Yuna's lineage, for he doesn't like the Al Bhed. Tidus remembers they have to tell Wakka about having rescued Yuna, and Lulu throws a magic flare into the sky which he can see from within the stadium. Heartened but with only thirty seconds left in the game, he has the Aurochs launch an all-out offensive, and they score the winning goal. Lulu says it wasn't the most graceful victory, and that Chappu would've been still standing. Tidus says she's being unfair, and that neither he nor Wakka would ever take Chappu's pl- and Lulu says he doesn't want to finish that sentence.

They return to the locker room, where Wakka's groaning on a bench due to the injuries suffered in the game. Wakka announces to the rest of the team he's officially retiring, win or lose (though since they're here they might as well win). He says Tidus will take his place, cheers the team up, and the team files out, leaving only Lulu and Wakka there. She tells him she saw him floating there on the sphere, and he says she wasn't supposed to see that, then passes out on her. She hugs him and says "You really gave it your all, didn't you?" He recovers a bit, and they write "My best memories are here. Wakka, Captain of the Aurochs." on the locker room wall.

Chapter 6: Luca
Before the game starts, there's a cinematic showing Auron arriving at the stadium to watch. The game begins, and goes pretty well, and then the crowd starts cheering for Wakka, so Tidus swims out of the pool and goes get him. The Aurochs win the game, and Tidus swims back in to congratulate Wakka, when fiends appear out of nowhere and attack the players and the spectators. Tidus and Wakka fight their way out of the pool, and run into Auron. They fight their way through a couple of fiends, and then Seymour summons Anima (cw: blood, terrifying monster), who uses psychic attacks to kill all the fiends in the stadium. Everyone safe, they get the trophy and Wakka gives it to his team and says goodbye. He tells Yuna he had some promises to keep, but is now a full time guardian, and she welcomes him back.

Meanwhile, Tidus and Auron are having a chat, by which I mean Tidus is yelling at Auron that all that's happened is his fault, and Auron starts laughing. Tidus asks him who he really is, and he explains that Braska, Jecht, and he defeated Sin ten years ago, and then he went to Zanarkand to watch over Tidus so that one day Auron could bring him to Spira. Tidus complains about it having to be him, and Auron says Jecht asked him to. He asks if his father is alive, and Auron says that it depends on what he means by "alive," and explains that he's no longer human - he is, in fact, Sin. Tidus has a meltdown, says it's impossible, and Auron asks Tidus to come with him, and when he dithers tells him it's his choice. He yells that he doesn't really have a choice, that Auron's the only one who can tell him what's going on, and he has to go with him. Tidus asks if he'll ever go home, and Auron says that's up to Jecht.

Auron and Tidus meet up with the party, where Auron offers his and Tidus' services to Yuna as her guardians, where she, Wakka, and Lulu are talking about whether Tidus will stay or go. He says he promised Braska he'd protect her, and promised Jecht Tidus would come with. Yuna asks him if Sir Jecht's alive, and he says "Can't say. Haven't seen him in ten years." Auron asks about their itinerary, and he and the other guardians get to talking.

Yuna asks Tidus to come see a thing, and she shows him she can whistle. She notices he's down and asks if he wants to scream, but he says he doesn't really think it'll help. She says summoners and their guardians are Spira's ray of light, and she learnt to practice smiling when she's sad. She asks him to show her what he can do. He tries smiling, and says it's weird, but she tells him to try laughing out loud. Both of them start forcing their laughter (HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!), and then dissolve into a fit of giggles. She tells him she wants her journey to be full of laughter, and if they get separated he can just whistle and she'll come running.

They turn around and the guardians are staring at them. Wakka says they were wondering if Tidus and Yuna were alright, and Yuna apologises, then tells them they must make for Djose Temple, but shouldn't forget to smile.