Alicornutopia

[Do you want an affidavit or a reference from my sister?]

[Both, thanks!]

I HEREBY SOLEMNLY SWEAR on this the second of June 2015 here in my own forum, under penalty of SOFT CUSHION, FORCIBLE RELOCATION TO EPPING BY TORTOISE-DRAWN BUGGY, and if the mod should so will it GAME EJECTION, that I am not now and have never been a member of any Communist Party.

- Hannah "Alicorn" Blume née Finley (handwritten signature withheld under clause 16 of "Affidavits and Assertions" due to the possibility of electronic theft)

My sister's post.

[Thanks, that will do nicely!]

Player Six, Turn 3
Starting Position: Bethnal Green
Current Objective: Revengeance
Current Possessions: One groat, 15 counterfeit Yen, Little Red Book, mohair scarf, Tower of London baseball cap, luggage (burlap sack containing seventeen plastic shopping bags, tack and bridle for Shetland pony [no pony]

Movement

1) I make use of the remaining temporal leeway afforded me by pistachi0n's unprompted Do-Si-Do to retroactively plant my copy of the Little Red Book on Alicorn. This invalidates her sister's claim that there is "no reason to suspect" her of being a Communist, as possession of such propaganda is certainly suspicious, thus perjuring her testimony and preventing her from serving as a reliable witness for Alicorn's non-Communism. Lacking a witness, her coup with His Holiness The Reverend Doctor Saint Father Soft III falls flat (retroactively), and her Complimentary Gift Kumquat inexplicably transforms into a bowl of petunias. My Lust for Vengeance becomes Vindictive Glee, affording me the ability to Hop and Skip.

2) Central Line: Bethnal Green -> Mile End -> Stratford.

3) I use my ability to Hop and Skip to Skip to South Woodford.

Purchases & Exchanges

1) Upkeep: Gold Bouillon (1 pint)

2) Purchase: Fifteen pencils, one Counterfeit Yen each. I immediately use them to light a small fire, over which I warm my Baseball Cap.

And I'd open my cache, but I forgot to build up any Expectation. Double damn. I'll end my turn here, then.

Ending position: South Woodford
Ending possessions: One groat, 1 pint Gold Bouillon, mohair scarf, Tower of London baseball cap [singed], luggage (burlap sack containing seventeen plastic shopping bags, tack and bridle for Shetland pony [no pony]).
End status: Probably Not Legally Allowed To Do That In A Train Station

I SUBMIT that having never done andaisq any injury in the past I CANNOT be a valid target of his Lust For Vengeance (87.12 fig 19) and he must redo his turn. Furthermore I SUBMIT that it is "Unsporting" (1.2 "Fair Play") for him to have undone half of my turn in this way and that if we were playing in person it would be proper to drive him out of the building with brandished hockey sticks for even attempting it, but in an online game the proper chastisement is open to (moderator) interpretation.

As defendant, I sustain the objection. The offending portion of my turn is altered to:

1) Using my temporal leeway, I make to have planted my copy of the Little Red Book on jalapeno_dude when he confiscated my hogshead. I call attention to his possession of Communist propaganda, inflicting upon him rumors of unpalatable political leanings and bringing up suspicion of hypocrisy in the accusations he levied against Alicorn. Alicorn's Complimentary Gift Kumquat still turns into a bowl of petunias, as explicitly stated in core material.

The rest of my turn remains unchanged.

I'm too late to propose any altered terms to hogshead deal, so I'll have to accept it as it stands. Which is a shame, because now I have most of a cask's worth of wine I didn't need. I'll think of something.

Whose turn is it now? I've got a bit turned around. jalapeno's?

Turn Three is now over. As far as I'm aware, pistachi0n is the first player of Turn Four.